“He who has conquered doubt and fear has conquered failure.” – As A Man Thinketh

I have come to believe that the greatest diseases of mankind are doubt and fear. That’s not to lessen the seriousness of some of our other afflictions, but doubt and fear rob more people of more life than all the other diseases of the world put together.

Why do I think they’re diseases? Well they’re acquired, we weren’t born with them. They’re communicable – much of the time they’re passed from one person to the next. But even more clear is the Merriam-Webster dictionary which says a disease is “a condition of the living animal…that impairs normal functioning.” Sounds like fear and doubt to me.

Doubt keeps us from going for the promotion that we certainly would have gotten had we gone for it; from asking for the big order that the next person got because they asked; from making positive and long lasting changes in our life because they “rock the boat.”

Fear causes us to make weak and irrational decisions that sell out our future for the sake of today. It takes our happiness, our sleep, our very life.

For the “patient” who finally admits they have a disease, there are cures for doubt and fear.

In her outstanding book, Conquer Fear!, Lisa Jimenez lists “The Seven Truths” that can help us overcome fear:

“Truth #1
Fear is the dominant problem in your life today.

Truth #2
Fear is a gift that was instilled in you as a means of protection and a way to bring you closer to God.

Truth #3
When you run from or deny your fear, you leave the gift unopened.

Truth #4
When your fear of success or fear of failure is exposed, you break through their control over you.

Truth #5
Your belief system is the driving force behind your behaviors and your results.

Truth #6
Your everyday habits are broadcasting your belief system, your fear, and your unmet needs loud and clear.

Truth #7
Change your beliefs and you change your behaviors.
Change your behaviors and you change your results.
Change your results and you change your life.”

And that’s worth thinking about.

“As a being of thought, your dominant mental attitude will determine your condition in life…Thought is causal and creative, and appears in your character and life in the form of results.” – Above Life’s Turmoil

In his outstanding book, The Miracle of Right Thought, Orison Swett Marden has a great chapter entitled “Working For One Thing and Expecting Something Else.” It very neatly explains why many of us get the results we do despite our desire for better.

“To be ambitious for wealth and yet always expecting to be poor, to be always doubting your ability to get what you long for, is like trying to reach East by traveling West. There is no philosophy which will help a person to succeed when he is always doubting his ability to do so, and thus attracting failure.”

When you are faced with a difficult circumstance do you expect the worst or expect the best? Both Allen and Marden tell us that whatever we expect we attract. If it’s your habit to always expect the worst you’re simply adding fuel to the fire, creating more negative circumstances that will create more negative expectations on your part.

And it is a habit. At some point in your life (and it may have been many years ago) you began to expect the worst. Eventually it became a habit. Want to change your results? Change your habit of expectation. Learn to expect the best.

Negative expectations are really nothing more than a manifestation of fear, so look the fear in the face. What is the worst that could happen? Is there some action you can take that will change it? If so, take the action — nothing conquers fear faster than action. If no action on your part will change it, then have the Faith that you will handle the outcome. That thought alone is a positive expectation. Take to heart the ages old wisdom that “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.”

In the final analysis, always expecting the worst is living a life in fear. Always expecting the best is living a life in Faith. As the ancient writer Paul noted, “Faith is the substance of things hoped for.” And Marden described the power of Faith in The Miracle of Right Thought: “Faith is the bed rock upon which all other foundation stones in every great character rest. Thus the person who has an invincible faith in his mission, an unconquerable faith in himself and his God, has power in the world.”

And that’s worth thinking about.

“A man’s weakness and strength, purity and impurity, are his own and not another man’s. They are brought about by himself and not by another; and they can only be altered by himself, never by another. His condition is also his own, and not another man’s. His sufferings and his happiness are evolved from within.” – As A Man Thinketh

How often it is we find ourselves attempting to change someone else’s life. Usually it’s someone close to us — someone we hold near and dear like a spouse, a child or a sibling. Our intentions are generally good and aimed at making life better for someone we care about.

But, oh, how next to impossible it is to control someone else’s life. And so painful!! Wayne Dyer writes that most of our suffering in relationships is tied to the failure of other people to meet our expectations; of them failing to do what we think is right for them (or that satisfies us).

I have been helping my 16-year-old, who will be a high school senior this year, plan for college. My experience and knowledge suggests a path for him that I think best utilizes his talents and gifts. But it is not a path that he wants to pursue — and no amount of persuasion on my part will change that. It is frustrating — and somewhat painful — for me to deal with that. As parents, we always want the best for our children — at least what we think is best.

However, I must allow my son to go down the path he has chosen, with full knowledge that “his condition is his own, and not another man’s.” And that ultimately “his sufferings and his happiness are evolved from within.” While I can offer him advice, my best help will be by becoming the best example I can be of James Allen’s teachings.

We can directly measure our progress down our path by how detached we can become when the direction of another’s life conflicts with what we think is best for them. When we can act with the assurance that they must follow their own path just as we must follow ours, we will have taken a great leap in our personal growth.

Should we have high expectations of those who are close to us? Absolutely! As Denis Waitley says, “Life is a self-fulfilling prophecy. You may not get what you want, but in the long run you will get what you expect.” So how do we handle it when others don’t do as we’d like? In the words of Wayne Dyer, “love them for what they choose to be regardless of your opinion about what they choose.”

And that’s worth thinking about.